I Want To Be A Stay-at-Home-Mom. Now What?

The First Step in Becoming a Stay-at-Home-Mother

Knowing Your ‘Why’

The first step in becoming a stay-at-home-mom is knowing why you want to. I knew right away that I wanted to stay home with our kids. This is something I knew before we had kids, and even before we were married. The thought of someone else with my children more than me was hard to get past. I wanted to be their greatest influence and I wanted all of their early memories to have me in them. And I knew I was willing to sacrifice ANYTHING in order for that to happen. So, even though I had a degree and a good paying job, I quit, ready for the adventure of being home with my babies. Another article on the same topic is here.

Looking at Who Influences You

I knew I could be a stay-at-home-mom because I watched my sister also do it on a low income. I knew it was possible. That was all it took for me, was just seeing someone else do it well. If you don’t have that person in your life, it might be harder for you to realize that it could be possible for you too. Especially when you have so many voices that say it can’t be done. The mainstream media, movies, and the culture at large all like to yell from the rooftops that it is good for women to work. But, you know what? It’s just an option. There are other options. 

Work vs Work

Not everyone wants to be stay-at-home-mom with their children all day. It is actually work. It can be hard. But, it is always rewarding, no matter the day. Even on the hardest possible day, I would rather be home with my babies. And if you are reading this, there is a high chance that you might feel similar. Going to work is hard. Choosing to stay home is hard. You just have to choose what kind of a hard you want to do. And sometimes it gets REALLY hard.

What Are Your Motivations for Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom?

Discovering your “why” is a deeply personal and introspective process. When you understand the motivations behind your decision to be a stay-at-home parent, you can start your journey with a clear sense of purpose and commitment, laying the foundation for a meaningful and fulfilling family life. A factor to consider, is if you are going to be at work, who is going to be with your children? Do they have the same priorities as you? Are you ok with the influence they will have on your child?

For our family, this was a big factor to consider. I wanted to be the main nurturer, and have strong bonds with my children. Being the greatest influence in their life was also important to me, and the one who guides their social skills, and development. If this is an area you feel weak in, it’s ok. There are so many resources for you that can help guide you, so you can in turn guide your children. 

Being home with my children also allowed me to be present for all of the precious moments. First steps, first words, big laughs, tears, all of it. We get to have adventures together, even if its just in the backyard. All of these small moments eventually turn into an entire childhood. I don’t want to miss any of it, it goes by too fast. 

I just want to stop here and affirm you. You are the best person for the job, no matter what you hear, you are biologically, intrinsically wired to be with your children. You may feel unqualified, but even the best nanny in the world, or the most prestigious daycare that you can find, will never be their momma. 

I have a few free worksheets that can help you figure out if becoming a stay-at-home-mother is right for you. These worksheets aid in discovering what your ‘Why’ is. If you still have questions, or fears, just know that is normal. Choosing to stay home can be scary because of the unknown, but it is something that can be done, and done well.